After losing a few friends recently, I realized that focusing on my goals led to some unintended consequences. In particular, I was no longer spending as much time with my friends and they noticed. It was a tough realization that might not be the case for everyone. This article will discuss the topic of why people lose friends when they focus on their goals and what you can do to stay closer to your friends while still pursuing your dreams!
1) People who help you change become less close because it is difficult for them to create new activities or spend time with you in ways that don't revolve around achievement. Most people like to see where you are headed and to be a part of your achievements. However, you are likely to lose these kinds of friendships if you begin focusing on your goals.
2) If someone helps you reach your goal, they know they helped bring about the achievement and feel less needed. That human need for attention and a sense of importance is what often drives us to help others in the first place. A co-worker might be more than happy to take part in your training regimen or even push you forward when you need it most, but as soon as you start losing weight and they no longer feel so important by helping amplify your efforts, they may become distant.
3) The less you socialize with them, the less they will miss you. Even if a friendship is based on more than just achievement and goal-oriented activities, it can be difficult for one to keep from drifting away from a friend whose life seems to be moving in a different direction or who seems to have different priorities. Of course, this does not hold true for all relationships, especially those based on mutual support and understanding, but it does happen often enough in the world of achievement seeking that you should understand why it might happen to you.
4) If you focus on your goals long enough, your friends will start feeling inadequate that they aren't doing so as well. There is a certain sense of "keeping up with the Joneses" when it comes to achievement and competition, and when you get to a point where your friends feel like they are falling behind in the race, they may start pulling away from you. It is important to realize that this type of situation is not always going to be the case and these friendships can often withstand the test of time. However, this is something that you should be aware of so that you can do everything in your power to keep such relationships alive.
5) When people wish for their own success but don't pursue it as fervently as you do, they may join forces against you. If you have a friend who doesn't have the same goals or dreams as you, they may not be supportive of your work and may even try to sabotage your chances of success. This is something that you have to be on the lookout for at all costs and take steps to prevent yourself from falling prey.
6) When someone does achieve their goals, it is not uncommon for them to become disinterested in those around them. After all, it is hard to feel superior when you are no longer striving as vigorously as you were before. In this case, peer pressure may make people distance themselves from those they admire because they no longer want the spotlight focused on them at all times.
7) Your friends may feel that if you have achieved your goals, then why should they bother? This is very similar to the line of thinking that was discussed above in point 4. If one of your friends has achieved their goals and has decided to push themselves even harder, then those around them may feel as though they no longer need to try as hard themselves.
8) Your friends may feel like they are going through major transitions in their lives while you are not. Even if you are going through a major life change, it is important to be aware that others around you are likely facing major changes as well. If their change is one that is seeing them become more successful and outgoing, then they may feel as though you are not as interested in them anymore.
9) As you become more successful, you won't need to surround yourself with people as much. Not everyone is comfortable with the spotlight of recognition and achievement on them at all times. Your friends may feel less at ease around you once you no longer need them quite so much in a group setting or when problems arise. However, this does not mean that those who have made it onto your list of true friends will disappear from your life completely. You should never just give up on someone because they have distanced themselves for a short time. You should always do everything in your power to reconnect with them and see if their feelings have changed.